Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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