Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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