I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize