The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize