i just google imaged poop.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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