i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
