Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I need to calm my uterus...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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