In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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