Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
