stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
