I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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