so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
