I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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