I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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