they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
there was a trapeze. enough said
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
