I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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