Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize