That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
