I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
