is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
