i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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