Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
