right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
