they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
