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what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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