What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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