im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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