just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My ass is underappreciated
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize