so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
my liver is dry heaving
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
