i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
