Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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