I wish I could punch you in the face.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just cropdusted the office
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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