Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
