honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
