He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
