is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
