if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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