I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
handjob tips. give me some.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just forgot I was standing up.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
