I wish I could punch you in the face.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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