Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
