well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
