we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
