Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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