saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
this will be a night to untag.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
