how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
