Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
