you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize