I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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