Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry psycho_nonsocial hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.

Fav 5 1270 2278
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...

Fav 40 3962 1418
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion

Fav 15 5542 1176
share tweet
(910): View more from North Carolina

So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon

Fav 17 4396 1396
share tweet
(414): View more from Wisconsin

I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

Fav 14 1332 4100
share tweet
(615): View more from Tennessee

Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.

Fav 13 4243 1241
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?

Fav 12 4548 1372
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(941): View more from Florida

He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?

Fav 7 493 1134
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.

Fav 0 56 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT