Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
not ubering you a puppy
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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