I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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