i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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