No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
