return my video game
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
