Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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