I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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