he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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