This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
