I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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