so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
