I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
