How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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