I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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