Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
did i walk over a car last night?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
