Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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