you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
