Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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