It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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