I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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