About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
